Crabbin'
"Gon' pull me up, pull me up, pull me up (pull me up, pull me up, pull me up) And never let me down (They never let me down) Gon' pull me up, pull me up, pull me up (pull me up, pull me up, pull me up) And never let me drown (never let me drown) Gon' pull me up, pull me up, pull me up (pull me up, pull me up, pull me up) I'll never hit the ground (never let me drown, never let me drown)..." (The Carters' Friends)
The Carters let us all in on a little secret of success. Your friends and circle are very important in the level of success one achieves. Just being a friend and having friends is not sufficient to guarantee success. Being a like-minded and available friend helps one position his or her self to be successful on their own and to support their other successful friends. There are waves which run through Hollywood and the music business where it seems the same 10 people are doing everything. This is not because these are the only people who are capable of doing so, but many times people are mentioned in rooms when they are absent all because of their friendships and relationships. It is an amazing thing when this happens and people are real friends. This is the way things work in the entertainment industry, sports, politics, and everything else. Think of Issa Rae, Lebron James, President Barack Obama, and many others. All of these people are commendable examples of how one person from the friendship can make a way for a wholly successful crew. This is how money, resources, and power end up being concentrated in a limited number of hands.
This post is inspired by Issa Rae and her squad because within the last week I've seen a post highlighting her new record company and an upcoming romantic comedy with a black leading man and lady. Prior to 2016, Issa and her friends were busy independently producing their own content for her YouTube channel. I have not read Issa's biography so I will not go much further than that when speaking on her prior to her rise to stardom. My point is that Issa had a crew and she has loyalty in her identity. Issa earned a contract with HBO and used some of the very same people who helped her get on. She then reached out to put on other people who she admired and they have become great colleagues and friends. They have a friendship like the one Beyonce sings about in "Friends". No one drowns no one touches the ground because there are real friends all around to uplift, inspire, and support one another. The thing that is special about the people who were previously mentioned, is that they all reached out to their friends to achieve great success as a group and they did. This narrative is not highlighted much because people like to promote the "self made" narrative which is pretty close to being non-existent.
There is a current wave which is spreading isolation, introverted tendencies, and social awkwardness. In my opinion the increase in people becoming more aware of their mental fitness has led some people to self-diagnose and self-treat some conditions. For example, some people(young and old) are tagging themselves as bipolar and to have anxiety but they have never visited a doctor. After tagging themselves these same people work and proceed through life with these assumption, and many times they respond "I can't go to...because my anxiety will flare up." or "you know I was not myself yesterday". This can impede a meeting which could open up additional horizons and it can be an excuse. Mental health is important and if one suspects there are any "irregularities" or things they have trouble processing, then it is important to seek professional advice to confirm or correct one's self diagnosis. So please continue to take interest in one's mental fitness but do not allow that interest to alter your life without seeking professional advice. There are more affordable options which are available since there is a greater need. Mental health is no longer just a "wealthy person issue" it is an everybody issue. Friendships are important and these people who isolate themselves, rob themselves of the relationships which can help them, even in their mental health.
The main point is that friendship and fellowship is important to success in all measures. Friendship and fellowship provide networks and open one to different opportunities. This is when the friendship, fellowship, and networking are genuine and work correctly. The people involved must be loyal and genuine for the outcomes to be beneficial to all. This is because your friends may be in one field and have expertise in one thing while you have another, when one person expresses a need that you can meet it is the duty of your friend to speak your name when you are not present. It's like a referral system. Many jobs are filled by recommendation or word of mouth because people want to know what they are getting when they hire someone for a job. If your friend operates at a certain level of success and efficiency then it is expected that you would be at the same level or better because "birds of a feather flock together" right? Author, podcaster, and upcoming media mogul, Luvvie Ajayi Jones refers to her squad and the way they bring up one another's names when opportunities arise that one of the squad can meet. Having the skill and ability is one thing, then being available is another. Make sure to speak to your friends and let them know your priorities so an opportunity does not come at an inconvenient time.
Many times friends can even serve as mentors. Although there might not be an age difference a friend with different experiences can give one insight into their experience, their own story. This is how some friends who may not have things to give or status to lend can still be contributory to your friendship. Many people have friends who are very different from themselves and they learn from this more than the group of friends who are all the same. Sometimes one needs a different set of eyes to see things from an alternate perspective. It is easy to get caught in the "no new friends" and that people have to give something to you in order to be useful. That sets one up to be a user and a bad friend. Being emotionally mature and observant can help one learn from experiences and move accordingly. It is important to project the energy one desires. Be a good friend if one wants to have good friendships.
Healthy friendships and relationships are important to our lives as a whole. This is demonstrated with all the different ways people find to connect with other people. Social media has created a medium where people are more concerned with the interactions they receive through a platform instead of the actual personal interactions. This is another medium to which one needs to have a certain level of proficiency to be able to have it as an asset to one's life and not a liability. Unfortunately there are a lot of situations where people find themselves alone physically because all of their energy has been spread socially through the social media platforms. One should be an asset to others and vice versa.
So choose your friends wisely. Don't lose yourself in your friendships because self-care is still important and it is easy to find oneself empty and emotionally drained when in bad friendships and relationships. Do not get trapped in such a situation. It is important to grow and feel fed in all of one's relationships. Friends are family we choose, and with choices we should create a better clique of sorts.
"Friends – how many of us have them? Friends – ones we can depend on..." (Whodini)
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