Pregnant during Covid-19 and Floyd Protests
There was not a catchy title that I could think of to apply to this post. Really this is just a brief reflection of my experience of being pregnant with my second child for all of 2020, thus far. I've mentioned in a previous post that I am a perpetual high-risk pregnancy patient, whenever it happens. So needless to say without the current conditions a pregnancy would be nerve wracking, and now it is far beyond that in this current climate.
First there was Covid-19 to come and make things much more complicated. My doctor's visits are now single person visits meaning, no accompanying spouse. I have to go in the office alone and call my spouse to have him on the call during the visit or after. Either way is less personal and it adds a bit of anxiety for me. My husband is as active in this process (as he can be without carrying the baby)as myself and has his own set of questions and concerns which he does not mind sharing with the doctor. This is an extra layer of protection as he unknowingly acts as an advocate for me and our child. Him being removed from the experience leaves me a bit concerned. So much so, that I now keep a note on my phone of questions either of us have so I can ask at the appointment. Besides being alone at the appointments I am isolated from my family. At this time when we would usually be planning a baby shower, having our last nights outs, and eating everything I could crave, we chat on the phone. The family is not involved or able to bond with the baby while in utero. This was previously a time of togetherness and additional bonding, and that too is missing. I recognize that this all seems a bit tone deaf at the moment but this is my experience.
Now there are protests and things going on all over the country in response to yet another murder of a Black person at the hands of a white police officer, with little to no consequence. (At this time four officers are facing charges of second degree murder and aiding/abating.) This has become so overwhelming that the protests have lasted for days and there has been looting and national guard intervention across the country in some of the larger cities. There are people whose opinions only highlight the very reason for the chaos. There is such a lack of camaraderie, empathy, and understanding that it's seeming like there is no solution. There are people who are oblivious, indifferent, and bothered by the events only the inconvenience the protests have caused them. Never minding the reason for the upheaval. I already have a son who will grow up to be a grown Black man(Lord willing) so those are it's own set of concerns. Now my husband and I will be parents to two Black children who are going to grow up into Black adults(again Lord willing). I was conversing with my Grandmother when she realized the Illinois National Guard was deployed to Chicago and could hear the change in her voice. All she could say is "This ain't good. This. Is. Not. Good." while she reflected on her experience with the National Guard presence during the riots in 1968, when she was pregnant with my mother.
So all in all, I'm just waiting this process out the best way I can. I'm praying for a continued "healthy" pregnancy, full term development, a hospital bed for delivery, and my husband by my side. I know from other women's experiences this may be too much to ask, but I'm still asking. There's stress all around me right now, but ironically so, the #StayatHome order has been a blessing because I can "incubate" without being around strangers, I can see my son all day every day, and chat with my husband face to face when all of these things begin to take a toll on my mood. I'm happy to see the baby steps of change happening in different places around the country like the Los Angeles Mayor cutting his police budget in half and redirecting funds to communities in need. I look forward to more changes like this.
Yes I support #BlackLivesMatter.
Yes I want there to be systemic changes to make the U.S. a land of truly free people of all races.
Yes I support prison abolition.
Yes I support the arts.
Yes I believe Black people have a culture to share and protect.
Yes I believe a pregnant woman should not have to worry about dying when she goes to deliver a child.
This list can go on forever, but that's what's important to this post.
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